JewsByChoice.org

Oh goodness, we surely didn’t leave services in silence. That is an interesting idea though. We talked for an hour or so afterward and I was the last to leave with the Rabbi and a young girl who showed up for her first ever Jewish service. Christopher, that does sound appropriate. You should get the [...]

I started that book yesterday. I didn’t get far but it looks good.

That is a good idea. Thank you so much for the recommendation. I will look up recipes today.
Eliana

Hi, Eliana.

I’m sure that flowers would a welcome gift, but you might also consider “sweets,” such as honey, apples, or even cookies (a friend recently baked some shortbread cookies topped with honey, almonds, and molasses, and it occurred to me that they would be good for Rosh Hashanah celebrations).

שנה טובה
Christopher

Thank you, Tara and Debbie, for this open and honest conversation. Although I haven’t personally dealt with issues such as those Tara is currently confronting, I appreciate being able to read about them. Debbie’s advice seems very sound to me, Tara, especially with respect to the Chabad situation and the Al-Anon approach. I wish you [...]

I just bought a book from amazon.com to read on my Kindle called “This is Real and You are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation” by Alan Lew. I have not read much of it yet, but parts of it were read at the Selichot service at my synagogue. I [...]

It is not all that uncommon for the non-Jewish or converted spouse of a Jew to help their Jew-by-birth spouse to re-connect with or become more serious about their Jewish identity. In my own household, I was the one who pushed to make our kitchen kosher, not my JBB husband’s idea. Seeing that happen is [...]

Thanks again for a thoughtful reply. I definitely am making him understand the consequences of marrying me. At first he was like, “My parents love me, they aren’t going to sit shiva on me” and now he is realizing that they very well may do so. He’s promised to figure out a way to come [...]

I’m glad you had a good serious discussion with your boyfriend. I don’t know your boyfriend’s parents, but just be sure that your plans do not depend on waiting for them to “come around”. They might come to accept you with a non-Orthodox conversion as “Jewish”, but it sounds like it could be years after [...]

Thanks again for the continued conversation and support. Interestingly, Deborah, I did exactly what you were talking about yesterday (not that I haven’t before, he just doesn’t seem to “get it”). I told him that i would not be doing a quickie Ortho conversion since the two people who are torturing me right now do [...]

I’m going to be in Atlanta this weekend for the wedding of a friend—the best man at our wedding 23 years ago. I’m hoping that after the rehearsal dinner Saturday night, we will be able to get to a community-wide Conservative Selichot service that is less than 2 miles from our hotel. Luckily, the service [...]

@Tara: “Joyful”? Well, when I finally converted, yes. But I spent a lot of time in the 25 years leading up to it agonizing about what I wanted to do and what I felt I could or could not do. “Soul searching” is hard. And in looking back, I realize that because it was hard, [...]

The following sentence is all muttered up. Too many thoughts in my brain. Read my comment with that deleted It’s baffling to me that this rabbi would even suggest it as a viable option. Chabad rabbis don’t even consider conservative rabbis legit in some ways. They won’t go to a Conservative shul. My shul, [...]

This is my first year and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I actually will miss the Yom Kippur day service. My Rabbi knows and my husband knows this will be the last year I skip it. I will make it to the Kol Nidre service which will be my first one. I will be in [...]

So sorry you’re going through this. Being married to a convert I’ve experienced this first hand. I used to be fairly active in a Chabad house. I think the rabbi and his wife are wonderful. The girl that helped them was great and we became good friends. I used to do Shabbat at their home [...]

Okay, I had misunderstood. The Chabad Rabbi thinks you are ruining your boyfriend’s life. I have no idea why but I thought you meant the Rabbi felt you were ruining HIS life. I was so confused. I get it now. Sorry! Makes much more sense…even if I do think it was mean, I understand why [...]

Well, I was writing a long reply, but the Chabad rabbi suggesting a quickie Orthodox conversion in Canada has definitely got me wondering about my assumptions about his behavior. @Dena: A Chabad rabbi might think a non-O convert (whom he considers to be non-Jewish) is leading a nice Jewish boy to a severe transgression of intermarriage, [...]

The High Holidays have always been my favorite time of year. The beautiful and haunting melodies resonate with me for months afterwards. It also forces me to engage in serious introspection as to how I can improve myself and my life. This year is unusual for me because it is my first High Holidays spent [...]

I apologize if I sound rude but I wouldn’t be able to attend a place where I was told I was ruining lives and the Rabbi was willing to do a conversion that surely isn’t technically valid. Are there any other options? MO Shul? They will not not accept your conversion either but perhaps they [...]