JewsByChoice.org

You right, I have a big stupid smile on my face…and I played it twice

Geez, as if it couldn’t get worse for me right now – the conservative shul’s newsletter came out with a little bio about me joining. The other three couples were about where they were from, and what they were doing in town. Mine? “She hang with one of the brightest young Jewish stars on the [...]

Rebecca, that’s exactly what we did this weekend. For the first time since this whole thing, I felt like I was surrounded by “my people” for the first time. I have always loved Jews, and it was so hard to begin to fear them a bit, and this time I felt again at home. We [...]

I didn’t get to the Selichot service in Atlanta. The rehearsal dinner that night went to 10:30pm and although there would have just been time to get to the shul for the beginning of the service, I was too tired and just wanted to go to bed. It had been a week of late nights [...]

Tara, I don’t have much to offer as advice, but I did want to chime in with sympathy for the hard time you are having. It sounds like nearly everyone around you is putting themselves into the middle of your religious choices. I can only imagine how hard that makes this period that should be [...]

Thanks for the ideas. The Vox Tablet looks great!

I started that book yesterday. I didn’t get far but it looks good.

Thank you, Tara and Debbie, for this open and honest conversation. Although I haven’t personally dealt with issues such as those Tara is currently confronting, I appreciate being able to read about them. Debbie’s advice seems very sound to me, Tara, especially with respect to the Chabad situation and the Al-Anon approach. I wish you [...]

I just bought a book from amazon.com to read on my Kindle called “This is Real and You are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation” by Alan Lew. I have not read much of it yet, but parts of it were read at the Selichot service at my synagogue. I [...]

It is not all that uncommon for the non-Jewish or converted spouse of a Jew to help their Jew-by-birth spouse to re-connect with or become more serious about their Jewish identity. In my own household, I was the one who pushed to make our kitchen kosher, not my JBB husband’s idea. Seeing that happen is [...]

Thanks again for a thoughtful reply. I definitely am making him understand the consequences of marrying me. At first he was like, “My parents love me, they aren’t going to sit shiva on me” and now he is realizing that they very well may do so. He’s promised to figure out a way to come [...]

I’m glad you had a good serious discussion with your boyfriend. I don’t know your boyfriend’s parents, but just be sure that your plans do not depend on waiting for them to “come around”. They might come to accept you with a non-Orthodox conversion as “Jewish”, but it sounds like it could be years after [...]

Thanks again for the continued conversation and support. Interestingly, Deborah, I did exactly what you were talking about yesterday (not that I haven’t before, he just doesn’t seem to “get it”). I told him that i would not be doing a quickie Ortho conversion since the two people who are torturing me right now do [...]

I’m going to be in Atlanta this weekend for the wedding of a friend—the best man at our wedding 23 years ago. I’m hoping that after the rehearsal dinner Saturday night, we will be able to get to a community-wide Conservative Selichot service that is less than 2 miles from our hotel. Luckily, the service [...]

@Tara: “Joyful”? Well, when I finally converted, yes. But I spent a lot of time in the 25 years leading up to it agonizing about what I wanted to do and what I felt I could or could not do. “Soul searching” is hard. And in looking back, I realize that because it was hard, [...]

The following sentence is all muttered up. Too many thoughts in my brain. Read my comment with that deleted It’s baffling to me that this rabbi would even suggest it as a viable option. Chabad rabbis don’t even consider conservative rabbis legit in some ways. They won’t go to a Conservative shul. My shul, [...]

This is my first year and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I actually will miss the Yom Kippur day service. My Rabbi knows and my husband knows this will be the last year I skip it. I will make it to the Kol Nidre service which will be my first one. I will be in [...]

So sorry you’re going through this. Being married to a convert I’ve experienced this first hand. I used to be fairly active in a Chabad house. I think the rabbi and his wife are wonderful. The girl that helped them was great and we became good friends. I used to do Shabbat at their home [...]