JewsByChoice.org

While I was born into a home with two Jewish parents, I consider myself a Jew by choice. Even from the beginning of constructing my Jewish identity, it came from within and not from any overt influence of my parents. I learned to read torah and haftarah with a local rabbi of an unafilliated synagogue in suburban Chicago at my own behest at age 12. My parents, having given me the choice at age 8 as to whether or not I wanted to attend Hebrew School (guess what I chose…) never belonged to a synagogue or practiced any rituals aside from the large family gatherings of Rosh HaShanah dinners, Yom Kippur break fasts (although no one ever fasted), Passover seders and Hannukah candles. I don’t remember speaking of Israel until the Gulf War in 1991 when my sister explained to me that despite being a tiny country they are quite powerful (which I did not believe at the time). By age 18 I had become a bar mitzvah on Masada in Israel, spent two consecutive summers in Israel, learned to read and speak a little Hebrew, learned to pray and put on tefillin and had immersed myself into the history, culture and traditions of the Jewish people. By age 20 I was a firm-footed Atheist and a proud and loud Zionist. Little did I know what life had in store for me.

At age 20 I met the woman I am now married to, Danielle. The two of us fell in love in storybook fashion, it was truly love at first sight. Three or four days after we were introduced I remember having a conversation with her where she said something to the effect of, “this relationship isn’t going to work.” I was dumbfounded. The happiest three days of my life, while I was having visions of growing old with this woman, she was ready to end it before it started. “Why would you say that? I thought this was going great.” Or something to the effect must have been what I said. I will never forget what she said next, “Maybe not now, but one day you’re going to want me to convert and I don’t know if I’ll want to do that.” As I remember it correctly, I laughed at her and said “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” You must know, not only was I an Atheist, but I found Judaism particularly silly and off-putting (as any good secular Zionist should, in my mind at that time). In retrospect, this is just one of the many examples where she knew exactly what she was talking about and it was I who was seeing things through a dim lens. She did convert, and it was a beautiful and exciting experience in many regards and at the same time a painful and exacting experience. Perhaps that is the way it is designed to be. Our experience is a unique one, and that is certainly true for every individual who goes through the conversion process and their loved ones who surround them. I think I can speak for both of us confidently when I say, neither of us were completely the same once the conversion process was complete.

Ultimately, conversion is about the process of change. One is not changing themselves, but rather their identity. Rituals and laws aside, the notion of ‘conversion’ is, in my opinion, an inadequate or, at best, a misleading terms in the context of the Jewish tradition. The word, ‘to convert,’ in the Jewish tradition is להתגייר (l’hit-ga’yer) which comes from the word גור, a sojourner. Literally, what we translate as ‘to convert’ actually means ‘to cause oneself to sojourn.’ Rather than ‘converting to Judaism,’ one is joining the Jewish people. Or, as my rabbi phrases it, “accepting the fate of the Jewish people as your own.” And like any other identity one has in their life, the evolution and adaptation of new habits and practices and beliefs is a process without a start and end. And as I have experienced in my own life very plainly and clearly nearly every step of the way, we never know the journey that process is going to take us on.

My own journey (to leave out many details and experiences) has led me to soon have the privilege and responsibility of the title of ‘rabbi,’ (not yet, but not far off). I am really excited to see this on-line community growing and providing support, resources, ideas and perspectives with one another. It is an important resource for the entire Jewish people and any person who is interested in the Jewish tradition. I hope to be an active part of the community and avail myself as a resource (and not an authority, by any means) any way I am able.

In the near future you can expect to see me sharing thoughts on Torah, Jewish law, mysticism, social justice and life. I think it’s safe to say, and those who know me would agree, that I am not your most typical rabbi. So, some of the things you may read or hear from me may come across as surprising or somehow atypical of what one might hear from another rabbi. I do not want any of my words or views to be taken as representative of any institution to which I am affiliated (and I think they’d appreciate that distance). If you’d like to read me elsewhere you can find my occasionally contributing on Jewschool.com and you can see my old, now inactive, blog at pardesyehuda.blogspot.com. I look forward to learning with you and from you and want to thank you for the opportunity.

a good shabbos to all

Wow it’s already been close to a month since my last post and I’m happy to report that in that time we’ve made a lot of progress regarding the new website design.  As I’m sure you can see by the new layout and new features now available here at JewsByChoice.org, we are trying to move in a fresh direction with the revamped site.  Basically, we’d like to be a little bit less of a one trick pony then we were in our first incarnation.  Since day one hour aim has always been to provide an online space, where Jews by choice can network with other JBCs as well as, explore and engage with Jewish identity, culture and tradition, in short more of a social networking site.

Unfortunately our first attempt never really panned out when we started this site back in 2007.  I think part of the problem is that the technology just wasn’t there yet.  Also I suppose I’m partly to blame because I didn’t have the skills to pull off what it is we were trying to accomplish.  Lastly, I don’t think that we had all of the right people involved to make things work as well as it could have.  That’s not to suggest that our contributors weren’t great because they all gave 110%.  It’s more that we (meaning me) probably needed to have some professional/paraprofessional advice and help in terms of management in project planning.  You know taking the vision and breaking it down into specific and attainable steps.  Fortunately, I now have a little bit more support from people working in the Jewish professional community and this should make things a little smoother this time round.

Anyhow, let me try to rein in this rant a little bit and get to the point.

Basically I just wanted to let everyone know that after a month of closed beta testing  we are now ready to open up registration to anyone who’s interested in participating as part of our (hopefully) growing community of engaged JBCs.  So to the people who have been e-mailing me regarding helping out, as well as anyone else who is interested in participating, I’d like to invite you to head over to our registration page and sign up for a member account.

Again please keep in mind that we are still very much in a beta phase, so the site is going to be changing (probably a fair amount) over the next few months.  Also there is bound to be bugs and glitches so please be patient with us as we continue to refine things here on the site.

With that I would like to say goodnight and thank you to everyone who’s been e-mailing and/or showing support in other ways as we work on getting the new version of the site up and running.

Be well
Avi M

Hi All,

Those of you who followed the JewsByChoice blog when it was up and running originally will remember me from posting there, and I have to say I am happy that we’re up and running again, this time with a bigger and better site.  As one of the original contributers who will also be one of the ongoing contributers, I thought it might make sense to re-introduce myself so those of you who are new to us will have some idea who is behind (at least my part of) the rambling…

I came to Judaism from the fundamentalist Christianity in which I was raised and my journey toward joining the Jewish People, which grew out of an interest I held since childhood in Jewish history, religion, and culture, intersected with all of the major streams of Judaism as expressed in the United States.  I studied as a formal conversion candidate for a couple of years before making my conversion in 2003.  I reside in the Duluth, Minnesota area, and I am currently a member of Temple Israel, a great little congregation with an eclectic blend of folks from a broad range of observance and denominational (I hate that word) backgrounds.  In my community I function as needed as a shliach tzibbur, gabbai, I tutor b’nei mitzvah students, teach the odd adult education class, and generally try to make myself useful.

Some of the things I write in the future may make more sense if readers have some understanding of my interests and perspectives on a few things.  My profile says I am post-denominational, and this is certainly how I view living my life as an observant Jew.  I have learned much from teachers throughout the denominational spectrum, and I feel that what denominational labels do best is get in the way of our ability to love fellow Jews and see ourselves as one people.  The fact of the matter is that very few people are embodiments of their affiliated denomination’s platform in how they think and practice.  Rather, most of us agree with some things, leave others behind, and draw from other wells, so to speak.  While in my practice I am pretty traditional, I value very much the thinking of teachers more often associated with liberal expressions of Judaism, and I think that our Tradition is stronger for having so many different approaches and perspectives.  In the end, we are taught that “All Israel is responsible for one another” (כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה), we are one people whether we like it or not, so we might as well learn to love and appreciate one another!

The State of Israel is very important to me, and to my identity as a Jew.  I traveled there on an unforgettable solo backpacking trip a couple of years ago, met some wonderful people, had some amazing experiences, and was soundly impressed with how beautiful Jewish life is in the Land where it all began.  I consider myself a pragmatic Zionist, and I strongly believe that every Jew should travel to our ancestral homeland to experience life in a Jewish state.  Israel is a stunning place with friendly, big-hearted people, and our tradition fits in that place in a way only understandable through experience.  My feelings about Israel will certainly come through in my writing, and I look forward to having the discussions which are sure to follow.

One final point worth mentioning for background is that I am an observant Jew in a far-flung place.  I live a 90 minute drive from a 2 million acre national wilderness area adjacent to millions more in Canada, and in some of the driving I do for work in outlying areas I am more likely to see a moose than another Jew.  This presents interesting challenges to living a dedicated Jewish life, and I hope to share some things along the way I have discovered which make it easier.  I also came to Judaism after marrying an amazing woman who decided to remain a freelance monotheist rather than convert, and so I am married to a non-Jew who is helping me raise our children as Jews (identities they hold strongly already – they were converted as infants), and gives constant support in keeping a Jewish home.  This scenario is certainly not unheard of, but is also not common, particularly among more traditionally-observant folks, so it will come up in my writing here and there when relevant.

Anyway, hopefully this info will provide you with some idea where I am coming from, and I look forward to having the conversations that are sure to follow as the blog part of our site gets up and running.

After an extended hiatus it’s time for JewsByChoice.org  to kick back into gear.  While it’s true that our forum has continued (albeit slowly) to generate some discussion over the last year or so, our blog has been pretty much dead in the water.  We have not had any serious contributor generated content, including news, opinion or resource sharing for a year and a half if not two.  Anyhow all of that is about to change because the site is currently in the process of being overhauled and relaunched.

It’s still too early for me to say exactly how things are going to pan out in terms of what’s going to be staying the same and what will be changing but suffice it to say, my goal is to make this site much more interactive and community driven than the first version was. I’m currently in the process of sorting out how to best proceed so that we can keep as much old content as possible while still allowing things to evolve in a fresh and new direction.

Some of you (assuming anyone still reads this, while I know people do, because we’re still getting anywhere from 100 to 200 unique visits a day but anyhow,) may have noticed that our content from the original blog is currently not available.  Not to worry, all of the databases have been backed up and I hope to get that content back online in the not-too-distant future.  Whether this content ends up being integrated into the new website or archived somewhere else online still needs to be sorted out but if everything goes according to plan it will all be available again.

Anyhow, stay tuned for more updates and in the meantime if anyone is interested in discussing issues related to JBCness feel free to check out our (old) discussion forum which is still online and open for business.

Looking forward to seeing you all on the new website soon

Avi Montigny