A Jew with Tattoos (a post by Mark)
Okay, so lets omit the fact that I’m not even technically Jewish yet. The thing is that I feel Jewish, I try to live Jewish, and I feel I have been bound to the mitzvot since the day of my Brit Milah. It was a contract that I literally signed in blood.
I am not where I would like to be in observance but I try to grow everyday and I try to set goals. Eventually I would like to feel comfortable enough in my Jewishness to wear my kippah and tzitzit on a daily basis. But there in lies the problem; I don’t know when I will feel comfortable or if I ever will. What will other Jews and even non-Jews think when they see this Mexican-American with 90% of his arm tattooed wearing a kippah and tzitzit. It’s not as though I have wronged someone in business or slandered someone. I have committed a man-to-G-D sin that I feel I have atoned for, but many people might judge as though they have been wronged. It’s bound to happen and that’s what scares me. It just stinks because I feel so strongly committed to Judaism and what it stands for, but sometimes I feel like I am on the outside looking in. Up until now, whenever my wife and I do anything remotely Jewish, no matter what the weather is like I go out in long sleeves so that my tattoos are covered. Just looking ahead I know it’s going to be a long, tough summer because I will continue to cover, but they way I see it is if the black-hatters can do it so can I.
There is one person who I know that can handle this type of situation. He is a friend with whom Cinthya and I have been out with on several occasions and sure enough I’ve been covered up while he is sporting the short sleeves, letting his tattoos breath fresh air. But he is light years ahead of me in his knowledge and observance, and he just has that thick skin that I do not. I look to him more and more as a mentor and a friend and I admire his ability to say, “who cares if I get judged,” because he realizes that for everyone that does judge there will be someone else who can look past the exterior and see his dedication. As much as I tell myself to do the same thing I just can’t bring myself to it. I just feel that there is another factor and that is the factor of ethnicity. I feel people will be even quicker to judge because I do look so ethnically Mexican-American. I feel people will see some hoodlum in a Jewish disguise.
I’m committed to continual growth. I am currently a Jewish infant who is taking his first steps and hopefully I will be running soon, but I realize that this is a marathon that does not have a finish line. Somewhere along this marathon I hope I can stumble across the confidence in myself to be able to where a kippah and tzitzit while at the same time wearing a short sleeve shirt.
I was once asked if I could get my tattoos removed, would I. To that I say, no. My tattoos are part of who I am now. They tell the story of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. I don’t regret it, however, if I could do it over, I would. But who would have known then that Mark Anthony Nunez would be a strong committed Jew?
Mark (with a K) great post!
I have actually been working on something on this subject myself but you beat me to the punch. I’m sure I will still get around to posting on the subject but I might wait a while. I have several thoughts on your post but I think I will just sit with them for a while and give others a chance to share their thoughts.
However in the meantime I did want to share a new JPS publication on the topic called “Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices – Body”. I don’t own it but I have picked it up and looked trough it several times at the book store. Anyhow, there are several excerpts available on the JPS site, which I thought might be of interest to you and other readers.
Enjoy!
Preview the Table of Contents from Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices: Body [PDF 52KB]
Preview the Introduction from Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices: Body [PDF 96 KB]
Preview the series description of Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices: Body [PDF 48 KB]
Preview an essay on "Jews and Tattoos" from Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices: Body [PDF 104 KB]
Preview material from the Traditional Sources section on the subject of "Jews and Tattoos" in Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices: Body [PDF 72 KB]
Mark,
When reading this post, I thought of a little article I recently read on a local Chicago site, OyChicago.com, about the guy from Miami Ink (the TV show). He had something pretty poignant to say I think. The post is here: http://oychicago.com/article.aspx?id=864. From the article:
“But wait, isn’t a Jew with a tattoo a taboo?
‘God didn’t really go, you know guys, tattoos are not good, but piercings, nose jobs, boob jobs, ass jobs—those are all fine,” he says. ‘It’s really funny how you have all these super Jews running around with tons of plastic surgery at the age of 65 always stopping me and preaching to me that [Jews are] not supposed to get tattoos.’
‘We aren’t supposed to desecrate our bodies no matter what, so follow the rules or don’t follow them at all.’ “
Mark,
It’s understandable that you would feel like an outsider looking in right now. But when your conversion is complete, I hope you will begin to see the Jewish world in a different light, and from the perspective of someone who belongs to it. The choices you made as a non-Jew are not something to be ashamed of, and you yourself say that your tattoos are a part of who you are. God willing, you will learn to set aside your fear of what others think (you have already done this in deciding to become Jewish, after all) and give others the benefit of the doubt. While many people would give a Mexican-American-looking guy with tattoos, a kippah and tzitzit a double take, they will not necessarily be critical of you. It’s more likely they will think to themselves, “Wow, he must be a convert. I’ll bet he’s got an interesting story!” Some might even ask for your story. Then it’s up to you whether you tell them or not.
Keep in mind, too, you’re not going to be the only unconventional-looking member of the tribe. I see Black Jews here in Israel who hail from places other than Ethiopia. I’ve seen several Thai couples who wear the frum uniform (kippah, headscarf, etc.). One of my neighbors doesn’t sport the typical profile of someone in this neighborhood; turns out he’s from Uzbekistan. I meet Jews who speak Hebrew with Spanish accents all the time. Consider yourself an exotic addition, and be proud of that. Judaism is the richer for your membership.
Avi- Thanks. I think I recall you showing me this book on a couple of occasions. It is definitely on my list of books to buy. I’m looking forward to hear more of your thoughts.
Chavi- Thanks for the link.
Shimshonit- Thank you so much for the kind words. I can honestly say that I already feel a little more confidence in myself because of your words and your insight. Thank you!
Hi Mark,
Great name, BTW, my oldest son is also Mark. And he is who I will talk about here. My kids are biracial, half Filipino, half white. Mark has a darker skin tone, especially in the summer when he is off to Ramah for eight weeks in the outdoors. When he comes home he wants to spend a day roaming around the streets of the city for a day. He tells me it’s so nice to be around people who aren’t all white after a summer spent at camp where non-whites are few and far between. And after that day of roaming he’s just himself again. This year I found it interesting the shirt he wore the day he left for camp said, “Mubuyhay! Phillipines”. No pretense, no trying to just blend in. It seems he is figuring out who he is and becoming comfortable with being a Filipino Jew. I am curious to see if this year he will still need that day of roaming. He may or may not, it may or may not really mean anything, but I’m curious. When he travels to the Philippines in December he also plans to attend the only synagogue in the country. It seems he is putting together some different parts of his life. Before he always seemed torn between being Filipino and being Jewish.
He converted almost three years ago now and I won’t say he has his identity all figured out, but I see his happiness and think he’s doing great. Perhaps someday you, Mark, will be comfortable enough to show up in a Mexican t-shirt at some Jewish happening with your tattoos there for all to see. But if so, it will be in your time and you’ll know it.
I think we all struggle at times with who we are as Jews. I don’t fit into the role Judaism has traditionally allocated to women. What do you suppose the response is of the black hats to a women wearing pants and a kippah, especially if they see me shortly after minyan when the marks from my tefillin can still be seen on my arm? I can take off my kippah and blend into the crowd, or I can be who I am, a liberal, religious, Jewish woman who wears a kippah. For awhile I took the kippah off, but anymore I don’t even notice I’m wearing it nor do I notice the response to my doing so.
You know though, if people do react to your tatoos at first, maybe you could try to cut them a little slack, too. I imagine it to be a startling sight at first for ones not used to seeing such a thing, tzitzit and tattoos on a Mexican-American. For some of us our knee-jerk reactions are teaching moments where we are faced with prejudices we weren’t aware we harbored, teaching moments from which we learn to repent and grow. For others this isn’t true, but then it’s their problem, not yours. The ones for whom change happens can, however, become your friends and community if you let them. Thanks for sharing your story. The power of Judaism that pulls us beyond our comfort zones, truly amazing.
Hi Yael,
Thank you, for sharing your story.
I think you got it right when you said, “I think we all struggle at times with who we are as Jews”. I am struggling to find my Jewish self. And for me it is scarier to be judged when I’m just barely trying to figure things out. I do understand that it is human nature for people to judge or question things that are out of the norm. Perhaps I should just go in expecting to get those reactions, and like you said I should try to cut them some slack. It’s just hard because I had this image in my head that it would be a simple transition. That Jewish tribe I would be joining would be different than the average human-beings. But I guess if everything worked out the way we imagined it; that would be too easy.
A good friend of mine is a rabbinic student at HUC in Cincinnati and he is writing his thesis on tattoos w/in the Jewish tradition. Perhaps as he works through his research and his thoughts he would be interested in sharing some with the JBC.org community (obviously with Avi’s permission). This topic seems to be fairly interesting to many converting, and to Jews in general who are trying to navigate the modern world within (or without) their Jewish tradition.
Hi Mark:
I also have a tattoo, but on my torso where it won’t be seen. Even so, I struggle with the thought that my tattoo keeps me from feeling or being fully Jewish. In your situation, I can see it would be even more of a struggle of feeling accepted in situations. I think Yael and Shimshonit both have thoughtful responses, and I hope you find that others also respond to your sincerity, and not so much your appearance.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Dear Mark,
Not to sound repetitive, but I too, as you know, have two tattoos. One is easily visible, one is not. I also feel uncomfortable with my tattoo showing in synagogue. Since the visible one is on my ankle, I buy the largest band aids and cover my ankle when going for services or anything religious. I find this especially important if I’m going to be doing an aliyah. If I’m wearing a longer skirt I sometimes forget and so far have never had any big issues. Funny enough, kids are the ones who pay attention to these things and ask questions. This has happened to both AVI and I and we’ve used these moments as teaching opportunities to tell kids that tats aren’t all they’re glorified to be.
It’s an odd thing, having a tattoo. Like you, I wouldn’t have them removed but I’d think twice about ever getting one if I could do it over. I’m sure I’ve had eyebrows raised at me. I’m sure my little tattoo has made others uncomfortable; however, I can’t control or care for every single person around me. NOW, having said that, I also feel the sensitivity towards Holocaust survivors to be a special thing.
On one hand, an artful tattoo that one chooses to put on their body is very different than one that was forced. However, perhaps this generation is too scarred or is too pained to understand this so I definitely find myself more conscientious around the older generations.
All in all I think the way you have gone about things so far is healthy. You have shared with Avi and I on more than one occasion that you take your Judaism seriously and that you don’t want to perpetuate something that you don’t believe you can back up. As your friend, and as a member of the tribe, I support your decision fully. However, I also say as your friend that you don’t owe anybody a full explanation. If someone is polite enough to actually inquire about your tattoos, about your history, then they will likely be the type of person who WANTS to understand. The rest of the people; the ones who will whisper behind your back, or give you a look, well, the tattoo issue is their’s alone.
Thanks for sharing your story because it’s something I’ve thought about in the past, as a matter of fact, I’m going to go search my personal blog archives to see if I ever did write on this topic.
By the way, one of the readers, Yael, shared the story about her son so I thought I’d share this link about biracial kids being raised Jewish. Perhaps some of you will find it useful.
Hasta mas tardes…o Sabado
http://www.jewishlivingmag.com/family/inlovingcolor.php
Mark said:
It’s just hard because I had this image in my head that it would be a simple transition. That Jewish tribe I would be joining would be different than the average human-beings. But I guess if everything worked out the way we imagined it; that would be too easy.
That has been my thought more than once since I converted. ‘But, I wanted us to be better.’ I guess if we were perfect I wouldn’t have fit in so well, but yes, I think after all we go through to convert we just want everything to be perfect, for people to accept us for who we are, and for us to feel at home. Perhaps the difference with Judaism is just that it gives us the possibility of being so much more than we would have been otherwise, not that it is anything automatic?
Tamara,
Thanks for sharing the link. Great article. I had to laugh at one point. One time when my kids were little we were in a store shopping. Someone came up to me and asked me where I got my kids! I told them, the same place most people get their kids, laughed and walked away. I’m glad my kids were too little to understand though. Then I might not have found it so easy to laugh.
Jenny- That would be awesome! I would love to hear his input and any information he uncovers.
Rivkah- Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Tamara- “_If someone is polite enough to actually inquire about your tattoos, about your history, then they will likely be the type of person who WANTS to understand._”
You’re probably right about that. We’ll probably get to talk more about this subject on Saturday. Thanks for your thoughts and input.
Yael- “_Perhaps the difference with Judaism is just that it gives us the possibility of being so much more than we would have been otherwise, not that it is anything automatic?_”
Amen!
Hey Mark,
Sorry I’m a little late commenting on this… new baby and all ;-)… This is an interesting post, and I think people have mostly said what I had for comments, so I’ll just offer that I think your commitment to pursue your conversion and tackle this issue - one way or another - is really admirable. Lots of people would either just not think about it, or let it stop them, so your investment in how your tattoos impact your own feeling of Jewishness, and others’ assessments of it, show a strength that will be an asset to our People.
B’Chatzlecha!
Yair
Hi Mark,
Your post was fantastic.
Just to give you a little background on me . . . I have been dabbling in Judaism for almost two years and have recently decided to convert. I would have done it sooner but I was in the Middle East for the past year and didn’t have the option. My conversion class begins after the high holidays, I can’t wait!
I understand why you are having this inner conflict. I think that it speaks to your character and longing to be a “good Jew.” I wouldn’t worry so much about how others perceive you though. If you want to wear the Kippah, wear it. If you want to wear it while wearing a short sleeved shirt in the summer, do so. It’s hot outside. I am a blond, shiksa-type from Texas. I can’t change my looks or my Christian background. You can only do observe and practice as you are able to and strive to be able to observe or do more.
I do think you are getting the guilt thing down (that’s a little joke) and in time you are going to feel Jewish enough to wear short sleeves with a Kippah and Tzitzit to less formal events.
I found this link with an interesting video. I am not saying that you should flaunt your tattoos or get the sign of life “tat” but I just wanted you to realize there are other Jews with tattoos.
Aletheia
click me!
Yair- I completely understand! Thank you for the kind words.
Aletheia- I most definitely have the guilt thing down. I even picked up running on Jewish Standard Time very quickly ;).
On a more serious note; thank you very much for your feed back. I went to check out that video but it said it was no longer available. Do you know if there is any other place that I can view it? I am very iterested in checking it out.
Mazel Tov on the decision to convert. Make sure to check back in and let us know have everything goes.
Ok so it took me a while to get back to this but here are a few of my thoughts on the subject.
First let me point out that I am offering this up as a person who has a fair amount of ink on my own skin and although I (as a Jew) try to be sensitive and respectful towards others, I don’t go out of my way to hide my past or who I am today. Sure in the sanctuary on Shabbat I dress appropriately but on the street or at shul for a learning event of some kind, I don’t worry about it so much. I live in LA and it gets darn hot here sometimes. On those days I’m likely to be seen out and about in short sleeves with my Tattoos in full view. Now it’s important to point out that I am just as likely to be sporting one of my many kippot on my head and Tzitzit dangling out from beneath my shirt. If someone on the street ends up focused on my tattoos and not on the fact that my head is covered and that I am wearing a Tallit Katan, I have to ask is this really my problem? Why does ink trump Tzitzit?
If a person decides that they don’t like me because of a choice I made in the past, without taking the time to find out a little about me and why I might have made such choices, then the problem is theirs and not mine. It’s ok to be cautious when it comes to your tattoos and its even ok to regret them (not that this is what you have said) but keep it in perspective with what you have accomplished and can be proud of as a Jew. I guess what I am getting at is that although I don’t want others to define me by my tattoos, it’s just as important to me that I don’t (in the process) inadvertently over identify with them myself.
Hope that makes sense.
Hi Avi,
What you had to say made perfect sense.
I guess part of my issue is that I DO at times over identify my tattoos with myself, but I feel that after all this wonderful and insightful feedback I’ve received will help me in moving forward with my Jewish life.
Hi Mark
I’m not sure why I didn’t think of this beforehand but you could always ask your sponsoring rabbi and/or shul’s Mara Datra (your synagogues legal decision maker)what there thoughts are on the issue.
Anyhow just a little more food for thought.
Thank you very much for sharing this issue, Mark. I converted to Judaism two years ago and I also have tattoos. Many of the concerns you raise, I also struggle with. Currently, I do not wear shorts or sleeveless shirts in public…even as a committed bike commuter during the hot & humid midwest summer! This issue has bothered me so much I have had dreams about it. I’m glad you said you would not remove the tattoos because your rationale is the same way I think and feel. Also, I really admire your Jewish friend with tattoos and hope to reach his confidence someday.
Sometimes I wish we could be transported back to biblical times and experience Judaism at its most earthy and sordid reality…all of us would probably be horrified, one way or another, with our fellow ancestral Jews. We pick and choose bits and pieces of Torah, which arose from that time, to justify our modern thinking of what is more authentic Jewishness. My Reform and personal beliefs do not accept this way of thinking. Why is a modern Jew with tattoos ostracized more than a modern Jew who “works” on Shabbat, the most important Jewish holiday? In biblical times they killed a man for working on Shabbat…find me a verse in Torah where they did that to someone for having tattoos.
You also raise concerns about ethnicity issues, which I struggle with also as a convert. As time progresses, I am becoming more confident and comfortable with my authentic Jewishness, regardless of biological lineage or history. Once again, maybe a trip back to biblical times would enlighten us about the ethnic variety that was probably a part of the human landscape considered Jewish or Hebrew. I disagree with a strict ethnic/cultural definition of Judaism(I didn’t check that box on the home page survey) when there are Ethiopian, Irish, Asian, African-American, Ugandan and Hispanic Jews, all expressing the unique nuances of their cultural history and ethnic backgrounds.
Finally, you seem to be far ahead of many Jews in your dedication, observations, sensitivities and understanding. That is an inspiration to me and, most likely, many other Jews regardless of your tattoos or ethnicity. Thanks for sharing and best wishes for a rewarding marathon…without end.
Hi David,
Thank you for for the words of confidence.
You’re my target audience and I am glad that you found this post. It is a real struggle being a convert with tattoos. When I first decided I was going to convert I tried to search for thought’s and opinions on the subject and I could find nothing more the the usual, “can I buried in a Jewish cemetery,” “what are the laws concerning Jews and tattoos” type of questions but I could not find real experiences regarding converts and their tattoos and how they handled it.
David, have you had any confrontations because of your tattoos in your community? If so how did you handle it?
Thank you again
Mark
Mark…
I had more time to read some of the comments to your original post. I really appreciate your courage to share this issue because all of the comments have encouraged me, also.
I belong to a Reform congregation that is pretty laid back. I have heard other members talk about having tattoos, but I have never actually seen them exposed. I’m assuming they are small, single tattoos unlike your or my situation. I have not exposed my tattoos, but recently I noticed part of one was showing below my shirtsleeve when I was working on our religious school’s garden project. I know a few people saw it as well as the child I was working with in the garden. Nothing was said to me at the time and it remains to be seen if word will spread. I feel fortunate to be involved in a congregation that will probably view my dedication and commitment for Judaism more importantly than the tattoos.
There have been two other situations that created anxiety within myself but did not result in negative comments or outward rejection. I was very nervous when I decided to tell the rabbi who was sponsoring my conversion. He is older and a little more traditional in his Reform approach to Judaism. He was curious about the kind of tattoos I had and whether or not I intended to get more. He also mentioned that tattoos could be removed. He certainly didn’t indicate any desire to stop the conversion, but his comments about tattoo removal made me think he was a bit uncomfortable. The other situation was during the mikvah. I was self-conscious anyway because I was without clothes in the presence of three strangers, one who was a rabbi from a traditional synagogue. Nothing was said during or afterwards, but the anxiety generated by myself was still very real and distracting. For your own comfort, you may want to discuss the mikvah ritual with your rabbi ahead of time, just to get any anxieties out in the open for discussion.
As you can see, I have not had to respond directly to any harsh criticisms or comments. I plan to keep my tattoos covered for certain situations like synagogue services, but I do want to gain more confidence like your friend or Avi who expose their tattoos in other Jewish environments. I also like the angle Shomshonit suggested in his comment…take pride in our exotic addition to the tribe and Judaism will be richer for it!
Mark, I wish you strength and peace on this particular issue during your Jewish journey. I have been inspired and encouraged by the comments and your story.
Yasher koach…David
Hi David,
I’m happy to hear that you have not had any outward confrontations, but I do understand that it can even tough when someone spots your tattoos and you don’t really know what they’re thinking about you.
As far as your Rabbi mentioning tattoo removal; I don’t think it was appropriate to do so, because (if I remember correctly) getting a tattoo removed would be as prohibited as getting one in the first place.
I am very happy that I have been an inspiration to you. I would like to thank you for sharing your story because you have been an inspiration to me as well, and it is stories like ours and other tattooed Jews,that I hope potential converts with tattoos will find, so that they know all though it will not be easy, it can be done, that you can be a religious Jew with tattoos.
I found this Site doing a search on what men wear during the Mikvah, as I don’t particularly want my tattoos to be seen during it lol. I am comforted that I am not the only one with this issue. It is also reassuring to read the responses from those who are similarly affected.
I am not sure if anything could make me feel less Jewish, though; but, it was more of a concern of how I might be perceived by others. Sage advice, not to worry about what others think.
Also, interesting, to think of having tattoos as a living non-example to those younger, impressionable ones.
~Urih (NB: not my real name)
Urih,
I am very happy that you stumbled across this site!
As far as what men wear during the Mikveh, that would be nothing :). I just went into the Mikveh yesterday and it was an awesome experience. I was really nervous about the Beit Din seeing my tattoos, which they did, but nothing was said about it. The ceremony went very smoothly. It was wonderful!
I am not going to say I think tattoos, body piercing, or other forms of what in Judaism is called desecration of the body are “bad” or “good.” Before I had even thought about becoming Jewish, my ears were pierced several times over and I also had a naval piercing and some small scars in some areas from a period of major depression where I had self-mutilating habits, so I am the last one to preach righteousness on such a topic.
I did stop mutilating myself and removed every piercing I had when I decided to convert. I do not wear earrings or a belly-jewel anymore. And while I am against converts and otherwise observant Jews doing these types of things, I also know that a non-observant Jew or a JBC to be who hadn’t even thought of being Jewish in their lifestyle at that point in their life probably thought of things very differently. People have their past, and that’s their business. If someone is so prejudiced they start thinking you’re a “Mexican-American hoodlum” and don’t give you a chance to prove yourself, that’s a shame for them. And your tattoos prior to converting (or being a ba’al teshuvah) shouldn’t be held against you. It was a “different life” so to speak.
I didn’t even think I would have issues with Jews with tattoos or pierced body parts until much more recently in my process of converting. When I had done those things, Judaism was something I had such little knowledge of and no intention of practicing that I couldn’t have thought to stop myself. But once I decided to be Jewish, I stopped furthering any such action and took any evidence away as possible (my belly jewel and earrings).
I accept that as my personal choice. Now, I do have issues with post-converts, people intending to convert, and observant Jews getting themselves pierced, mutilating themselves, or getting tattoos, but that’s my personal issue and I mainly keep it to myself (I may rant in a blog on the rare occasion). Even then, it usually applies to getting specifically Jewish tattoos or or pierced jewelry (I am not sure if pierced ears count but I have assumed as such so far). I sort of feel it takes their Jewish journey for granted, and in the case of Hebrew I think it is a) tacky if you are not fluent in Hebrew and just asking for really embarrassing mistakes someone fluent will know for years (like any other language you’re unfamiliar with - feel free to replace “Hebrew” with Japanese or another language you know nothing about) and b) at least a bit disrespectful to the language and the people who kept it alive - Torah-observant Jews and a language that forbade such things.
Still, even with my personal issues and quirks I have yet to assume without evidence indicating that the person did not get tattoos during a period where they were not Jewish, or observant. My irritation mainly began when my friend introduced me to someone who sounded positively conceited about being Jewish - Stars of David on his arm, making bitingly sarcastic comments about people in the past asking him if he was Jewish, and claiming to be the “only Jew” around during the project we were working on (at least one girl also working with us was wearing a “Chai” pendant). I knew he was jesting, but it really offended me on a level I still haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly.
My Torah teacher occasionally fills us in on the modes of dress and self-ornamentation common at different periods in history. At least in First Temple times, it was common for women to wear lots of jewelry on certain occasions, including having ears and noses pierced (with gold chains connecting pierced nostril to pierced earlobe). This unrestrained accessorization was awarded to women for refusing to donate their gold to the building of the Golden Calf. Men’s jewelry-wearing, on the other hand, has traditionally been more restrained following the men’s willing donation of their gold in the Chet haEgel. (To this day, many traditional Jewish men do not wear wedding bands, and in Israel I’m told it’s more common for the bride to purchase a watch as a gift for the bridegroom, while she still gets the traditional ring.) At the end of the day, the time period seems to dictate the norms rather than any real overarching rules.
Sarah,
Obviously you are entitled to your opinions about tattoos and piercings; I personally disagree that they show disrespect, but that’s not really why I am commenting. You mention towards the end of your response that one of the reasons that people should not get tattoos of Hebrew words is because:
“it is a) tacky if you are not fluent in Hebrew and just asking for really embarrassing mistakes someone fluent will know for years (like any other language you’re unfamiliar with - feel free to replace “Hebrew” with Japanese or another language you know nothing about) and b) at least a bit disrespectful to the language and the people who kept it alive - Torah-observant Jews and a language that forbade such things.”
While I am sure that there are plenty of people out there who get a Hebrew tattoo because it is cool or hip or whatever, I am willing to bet there is an equal amount or greater who get one because it speaks to them as a Jew and represents what they think and feel. You can’t simply assume that the people who get Hebrew tattoos are ignorant to the language (and will have embarrassing mistakes), just as I don’t believe it is right to give “Torah-observant” Jews the only share in respecting and keeping alive the Hebrew language. Hebrew isn’t a language that is reserved only for those fluent in it or for the Orthodox, it is a language for all Jews, even if they only know how to say “Shabbat Shalom.”
Jenny,
Your comment reminded me of a VERY tattooed Jewish man I saw at Avi and my favorite Kosher Jewish bakery/restaurant. He was at the counter when I was, purchasing his challot for Shabbat. He had a HUGE tattoo of “Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad” in Hebrew going around his collar like a necklace. Yeah, I thought it was odd and for me prefer non-Hebrew tattoos. But, he was an Israeli who was speaking fluent Hebrew with the guy helping us, who by the way, has an eyebrow piercing. :) Oh, and yes, this is an uber kosher, chalav yisroel place; meaning what? meaning ALL levels of Jews go there, including the Chabadniks :)
Just thought it was an interesting experience to share.
Nice tattoo. I have added it to my favourites, greetings.
Mark…
Mazel tov on your conversion and mikveh experience! I’m glad to hear there were no problems with your tattoos.
Best wishes on your journey as a Jew…David