Truth Holders v. Truth Seekers
This post is dedicated to Rabbi Benjamin Samuels shlita (may he live days that are pleasant and long), my rabbi, sponsor, mentor, and friend, and a great bridge-builder in the Jewish world.
Since I’ve been reading this blog, I’ve noticed many expressions of hurt, frustration, and even animosity toward Orthodoxy and Orthodox Jews. I remember experiencing many of the same feelings as a liberal Jew. With the passage of time and a little perspective, I find it interesting that no matter which end of the spectrum I’ve been on, liberal or Orthodox, there is always someone on the other end of the spectrum critical or unhappy with my community. In an effort to share a little of the perspective I’ve gained (the time you’ll have to get on your own), I have a story to relate. May it prove as useful to you as it has been to me, both religiously and universally.
I once approached my rav in America with a problem. I had been a guest at a Shabbos table where the hosts were also entertaining a visiting rabbi from Israel. This rabbi would come annually and offer a range of courses on various topics. He was a gadol (sage) of sorts, and had an impressive ability to move from Torah to talmud to kabbalah, connecting threads from each. I had enjoyed a class with him in the previous week and had looked forward to talking to him more.
I was engaged at the time in editing a book of divrei Torah, lay sermons by members of my congregation, and had read a particularly thorny, interesting one about what the author posited was a loveless marriage between Abraham and Sarah. I told him the substance of the argument and asked this rabbi his opinion. He was shocked at first, then became angry. To make a long story short, he strongly disagreed with the author of the sermon, insulted his Torah knowledge, and gave me to understand in no uncertain terms that to draw such conclusions based on imperfect knowledge of kabbalah was ignorant and little short of heresy.
I was profoundly disturbed by this interaction for a number of reasons. One was this rabbi’s violent reaction to something with which he could have disagreed much more civilly. Another was his belief that one cannot understand the Torah without extensive knowledge of kabbalah. But above all was the impression I received that there is a right way and a wrong way to interpret the text of the Torah.
I called my rav, explained the episode, and asked him what he thought about this. He reassured me that it is perfectly acceptable to read the pshat, or surface language, of the Torah and draw conclusions. He admitted that he had found the congregant’s conclusions about Abraham and Sarah’s marriage disturbing, but that the congregant was still free to draw them. But the wisest take-home message for me from this conversation was his statement that in this world, there are truth-holders and truth-seekers. He defined them as people who believe that their opinions, informed by their preferred sources, are the only correct ones. These are people who believe they already know the truth are not interested in hearing opinions different from their own, or facts that call into question their own conclusions and beliefs. Their thoughts have become ossified. Truth-seekers, on the other hand, are people who, while they may have formed opinions too, are curious. They are open to hearing other points of view and other opinions. They are not averse to changing their opinions in the face of new information. They respect others’ differences of opinion, and don’t take themselves as seriously as truth-holders.
This distinction has made all the difference for me. It has inspired me to try to be more like the truth-seekers and less like a truth-holder (not always an easy task). It has allowed me to keep my perspective when sharing ideas or debating with someone whose stubbornness can seem to stand in the way of a really thoughtful exchange. And it has reminded me, above all, to try not to take myself (or anyone else) terribly seriously. In the end, it is the searching and not the finding that is most important
Wow nice post (actually) great post.
The first thing that struck me was the sense of devotion you seem to have towards your “Rav”. This is something one just doesn’t see enough of in the non-Orthodox world. In fact Tamara and I were talking about this very subject this past weekend. I was telling her about how I really wish we had a “Rav” to call our own. It’s something that’s been on my mind a great deal lately, probably because I’ve been reading a copious amount of Reb Zalman and he (without my ever even meeting him) seems to invoke the same kind of feelings in me as your Rav does in you. Whatever it is, your post (at least on this one issue,) really hit me at the heart level and that’s a good thing.
Now as for your thoughts and points about "truth seekers versus truth holders" it’s also a topic which has been on my mind in light of a few things I’ve been reading on the blog as well as comments made to me by other Jewish friends. At the core I think you’re 100% right but having said that I also think it’s OK to be cranky and stand up for oneself when it becomes needed. The trick I suppose is standing up for oneself in a way that is skillful and that’s not something I managed to do all that often.
I thought I would share something I was reading last week that relates rather well to what you’ve written above. Okay well, at least I think so.
The following is a set of guidelines/recommendations for right speech adapted from the work of the Chofetz Chaim by Rabbi Rami Shapiro. Rabbi Schapiro can be a kind of out there guy so I don’t know how close his adaptation adheres to the original but I found the list to be quite instructive nonetheless.
Do not spread a negative image of someone, even if that image is true.
Do not term permission they can cause physical, financial, emotional, or spiritual harm.
Do not embarrass people, even in jest.
Do not pretend that writing or body language or innuendo is not "speech."
Do not speak against the community, race, ethnic group, gender, or age group.
Do not gossip, even to your spouse, relatives, or close friends.
Do not repeat gossip, even when it is generally known.
Do not tell people negative things said about them, for this can lead to needless conflict.
Do not listen to gossip. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Rabbi Schapiro also suggests that we ask ourselves the following three questions before we speak:
Is what we’re about to say true?
Is what were about to say, kind?
Is what were about to say necessary?
Anyhow thanks again for another excellent post.
Avi,
Thanks for your comment, and for Rabbi Schapiro’s guidelines for proper speech. They’re extremely useful, and have proved in my life to be one of the greatest lessons Judaism has to offer.
I agree that it’s natural to feel angry and defensive sometimes, especially as an initial response to something offensive. (It’s one of my characteristics of which I’m least proud.) But it’s also important sometimes to try to muster a second response to situations that offend, distancing oneself from what is not actually a personal attack and looking at the situation from a more dispassionate point of view. In such cases, one can sometimes learn something. This is my constant struggle, anyway.
Every Jew is exhorted, "Asu lecha rav," get yourself a teacher. May you and Tamara find one soon.
-Shimshonit
Shimshonit,
This is a great post. I really like the way you (well, your Rav, but you here :)) taught about Truth Seekers versus Truth Holders, particularly about the fact that the Holders live in the world with their minds closed to new things. I suppose that on some levels, as frightening as that appears to some people, it is downright comforting to those who live there. Such an orientation lends a certain predictability to the Universe, and I guess there’s some comfort in that for some.
The Seekers, on the other hand, speak to me, and I hope that at least part of the time, I am one of them. I think of Avraham Maimuni, the son of the Rambam, who opened his followers up to the thought of Sufi mystics in Cairo, or of one of mine and Avi’s revered teachers, Reb Zalman Schachter, who has, I think, transformed the way Jews of all stripes approach the Mesora because of his experience with other paths and multiple streams of Judaism. I also think of the teachings of people like the Besht and Rebbe Nachman, especially as they address nature and the awareness of G-d it can communicate. Imagine how easy it would have been for any of these unique seekers to just shut their minds tight as a vice against learning from new experiences or looking for G-d in places their predecessors may have overlooked.
Seeking is what, in my opinion, keeps Judaism alive and malleable enough to weather difficult times and come out stronger on the other side.
Thanks for a great post!
Yair
I contemplated even making a response because of the theme of the post, but the more I thought about it the more I feel a need to respond.
First, let me say what a wonderful and well thought-out post this was Shimshonit. I found it quite relevant to a great many current happenings in my life. Thank you for sharing.
Now, my response to a response:
Avi, I’m sure your intention was not to offend but I must take issue with something you said and I quote:
"This is something one just doesn’t see enough of in the non-Orthodox world."
It’s exactly this type of comment (and thinking) that can cause so much hurt, anger, and frustration between the denominations. I’m not exactly sure why the comment was even necessary and while it may have been true in your experience, it is not universally true. Additionally, it comes across as condescending: Another example of an Orthodox Jew scolding the non-Orthodox for doing (or in this case) not doing something to his liking/way of thinking.
Now I won’t lie, I do have my problems with aspects of the Orthodoxy but those problems result mainly from unnecessary and detrimental (in my opinion) identity politics some of the Orthodox engage in as opposed to how they choose to worship or lives their lives. In fact, I have a great deal of respect for those choosing to live a life of strict observance - it’s not something I’m able to do right now (and I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready), but I admire and respect those that do.
-Rachamim
Rachamim,
I have to point out that Avi - as I’m sure he’ll point out and has extensively elsewhere on the blog - isn’t Orthodox. Neither am I, but I certainly agree with the point that he made in that there is, largely, a greater allegiance to denomination than to a Rav in most non-Orthodox circles. When you spend time in both types of communities you can see the difference, obviously not in every single case, but as a theme. I think it’s often because the institutions of non-Orthodox Judaism specialize in training clergy, "professional Jews," and not necessarily in training rabbis to be the full extent of what the title "Rav" has implied in the totality of Jewish history.
kol tuv,
Yair
Indeed. That’s my beef with much of modern (American?) organized Judaism. Rabbis are less rabbis and more bureaucrats dealing with shul politics than anything else it seems. At least, in my experience, I’ve heard such complaints come from rabbis. I’d never think about sitting them down to talk Talmud, because, well, I don’t think they have the time for it or any other halakhic questions.
I mistook Avi for an Orthodox based on a response of his to a comment of mine on an earlier post. I apologize if I misinterpreted your comment, Avi.
Perhaps my experience is not the norm, but my rabbi seems so bored/annoyed with the day-to-day of running a synagogue she welcomes the opportunities to discuss Torah, Talmud, and other such activities. Additionally, she’s something of a specialist on Midrash and relishes discussing/teaching it.
Dear Rachamim
Before I get into my actual response, I would just like to set aside a moment to a) welcome you into the tribe, Mazel Tov on your (very) recent conversion and b) welcome you on to our blog. I know you were a reader a while ago but something tells me you haven’t been a regular. Lastly to thank you for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts on a couple of different posts now.
I also want to thank you for your apology.
However, having said that I do think a little feedback (from me) is fair game and in order.
First, for a person who seems to be concerned about people making assumptions, you seem to be making a few yourself. Now if that’s really what you want to do, then fine, but (please) try to keep me out of it. You really don’t come off looking all that "informed" when you take issue with me for being an Orthodox convert, when it’s pretty clear that I’m not and I therefore obviously am NOT promoting a pro-Orthodox position and/or agenda . All you have to do is read the contributor page (I’m the guy at the top of it) to see that I am in fact a Reform convert who now calls the Conservative Movement home. Actually, reading pretty much anything I write on this blog will highlight the fact that I am not (and that I don’t really care for it when others identify me as) an Orthodox Jew.
Next, in all fairness, bearing in mind that your conversion is barely a week-old (3/25/08 according to your blog), nothing you’ve experienced is the norm, not even in your own life Jewishly speaking because you just haven’t (imo) logged in enough time. I’m not trying to be rude, nor dismissive, but I am calling it as I see it. Why don’t you spend a little time getting to know us on the blog (not to mention the Jewish world both within and beyond your shul and denomination) before you jump to any assumptions like the ones you’ve made above. Ultimately it will help you to blend in a little better with the rest of us and it my just save you from future bouts of foot in mouth disease.
Am I being harsh? Maybe, but you’ve said a couple of misguided and uninformed things about me as a Jew and quite frankly it’s rubbed me the wrong way, so I’m saying something about it.
Lastly, you have commented more than once here on this blog in a manner that seems to imply that you don’t like being treated by the Orthodox as not being legitimately Jewish (or somehow less so than they are) but on your blog it’s perfectly fine to call someone like Harold Kushner or rather his theology, as being something which, as you put it, is "fundamentally un-Jewish." Oh Please…. Give me a break! This man has more Jewishness in his pinky finger (including his theology) and has single-handedly done more for Judaism, than you or anyone else on this blog! However, that is besides the point. My actual point is that at a week into things (or in the case of your criticism of Rabbi Kushner which was before you were even officially converted) you’ve got more figured out than any of us! I don’t think so. Ok I don’t really think you feel that way but the optics on your comments seem to paint a different picture.
Like I said at the beginning of this comment, you are more than welcome (you are in fact invited) to participate here but have the courtesy of trying to get to know us and what we are all about before assuming that anyone here is trying to put you down, challenge you, your denomination, or the validity and/or quality of your Jewish identity.
Thanks
Avi - the non-Orthodox Jew
Avi,
Thank you for welcoming me to the fold - both to the larger Jewish community and here at JBC.org. Like I said in my comment before your most recent one, I apologize for labeling you an Orthodox Jew. You are correct in that had I simply read the contributor page I would not have made that mistake, instead I based my assumption (again incorrectly) off of this exchange we had on a previous post:
Rachamim (me):
“That said, it has been my personal experience that many Orthodox Jews want little to do with non-Orthodox Jews when it comes to religious life. ”
Avi:
My life and friends are proof positive thats this is not always the case!
I incorrectly read that statement to mean you were Orthodox and again, I apologize for making that mistake. Beyond that, I’m not sure I’ve said any more “stupid’ or “uninformed things” about you as you suggest.
Now, since my time as an “official” Jew seems to be of importance please allow me to clarify so as to help prevent you from making uniformed assumptions like I did. While it’s true that my conversion is only a week old, I’ve been interacting with Judaism on some level since the age of 8 (I’m now 2 weeks shy of 31) and I’ve been living “Jewishly” for approximately 2and 1/2 years. I’ve participated in/attended services at Orthodox, Conservative, Reconstructionist, Reform, and Sephardic synagogues in a number of cities around the U.S. from NYC to L.A. In August I will resume work toward a Ph.D. in American Studies focusing on Jewish-American History and Culture and I’ve attended and participated in academic conferences on Jewish Thought and Philosophy. Additionally, on the weekends I teach a class to 7th, 8th, and 9th graders at the local Jewish religious school. It is from these experiences and interactions (and a great many more) that I’ve drawn my conclusions about Judaism - not simply a 16 part class on Jewish Ways of Living and a week-old conversion.
Concerning my critique of Rabbi Harold Kushner, I never called him “fundamentally un-Jewish” however, I do take to task his depiction of G-d in When Bad Things Happen to Good People - it’s the point of my post you’re referencing and perhaps you’ll go back to read the second part when I get it up. In no way am I attacking his Jewishness and I’m not sure what his contributions to Judaism have to do with anything related to my critique of his personal theology (that he put in a book for people to read and think about and question). He is not infallible, nor is he beyond the realm of criticism, nor am I the first to raise these concerns. Kant criticized this way of thinking (theodicy) before Kushner was ever born and the Orthodox community (who I actually happen to agree with on this subject) almost summarily reject it. As did the late Rabbi Yitzchok Kirzner in his book Making Sense of Suffering. But I digress.
If I make a mistake I’ll immediately own up to it, but the snarky public admonishment wasn’t necessary - a simple correction would have sufficed. That said, I’ll tread lightly when commenting from here on out and make a better effort at avoiding assumptions. Perhaps I should go back and re-read the original post.
-Rachamim
My, my, my. The comments on this post have sprouted legs and run like the dickens!
As to the finding a rav issue, I agree (from experience) with what Chavi and Rachamim point out: that the nature of many liberal rabbis’ jobs is such that they have many more bureaucratic responsibilities than most Orthodox rabbis. They have contact with congregants through their teaching and counseling duties, but for a rabbi in a large temple, administrative duties and meetings can make them less accessible to individuals, especially if the rabbi also has a family at home. By stint of his presence at twice-daily prayers (combined mincha-maariv), the fact that the congregation takes on much more of the running of the community on a voluntary basis, and carrying a beeper and cellphone everywhere for personal emergencies and time-sensitive problems, an Orthodox rabbi can be more accessible.
But a rav in the "asu lecha rav" sense does not always have to be a rabbi. My rav in America is my rav there, and the person I still contact for lots of issues. I also have a rabbi here in Israel whom I know less well (and whose English is about as limited as my Hebrew). He is available for many of my questions about procedure and special psak (halachic advice) unique to Israel (e.g. he’s more lenient at Pesach than my American rav). But the person I call my rav here in Israel is the woman who teaches my Shabbat afternoon class, a very well-rounded woman, both in Torah and secular knowledge, who answers most of my questions. She’s where I would like to be, and it’s her advice and information I use to make many of my decisions these days. In my opinion, a rav is anyone who fills the role of teacher, adviser, or guide, who understands you as a person, and whose counsel you value as you make your way through the obstacle course that Jewish life can be.
For the record, readers, I am the sole Orthodox contributor on this blog. (For now.) If there is kvetching about Orthodoxy to be done, aim it here.
I surfed over to Rachamim’s personal blog to read what he had said about R. Harold Kushner. His focused critique on R. Kushner (i.e. on what R. Kushner says about God, not anything else) is very much in line with Orthodox Jewish thinking, and in my view has validity. (You can read my comment on his blog if you want more on that.) This takes nothing away from R. Kushner’s other contributions to Judaism.
If you take away nothing else from this post, please take away the message about truth holders v. truth seekers. (Remember the title?) Or, in Harry Potter terms, your mantra should be, "I’m a seeker, not a beater."