Feminism and Orthodoxy: Clash or Compatibility?
I’ve been a feminist since I was 11. (My mother in those days affectionately called me a “libber.”) At the time, the Equal Rights Amendment was under heated discussion at the time, and suffered a resounding defeat a couple of years later. What made me a feminist at the time I’m not sure, but being one the rest of my life made any prospect of becoming an Orthodox Jew difficult for me. I believed that women in Orthodoxy spent most of their time in the kitchen, were dominated by their husbands, and had no rights in the synagogue whatsoever.
What I’ve learned since then is that it’s not Orthodox women who spend all that time in the kitchen. IT’S MOTHERS!!! I could belong to any religion at all and still have my children demanding food and drink every ten minutes. And how I could think Orthodox women were drudges with all the Jewish jokes going around about the silence of the Jewish husband, I’ll never know. (”Aww, Shmuely, you’re playing a Jewish husband in the school play? Don’t worry—you’ll get a speaking part next time.”) But seriously, all I see around me in the world I now inhabit are partnerships where both spouses bring strengths to the relationship, and where each is a hard-working team member.
And synagogue rights, well, that’s still unresolved. The theme of progress in Orthodoxy tends to run more to small changes than to great revolutions: the approach of liberal feminism rather than radical feminism. I discovered that there are conferences (in Israel and the U.S.) where women’s issues in Judaism and halachah are discussed; there are seminaries which train women to be halachic decisors; and there are women who are being taught privately by Orthodox rabbis who, if they had had a brit milah instead of a simchat bat, would be eligible for smicha (rabbinic ordination). There are minyanim that respect halachic boundaries where women are permitted to perform most of the primary functions of public prayer, suggesting that the issues of women in the synagogue with respect to prayer, tallit, and tefillin, is more an issue of what the community is prepared to allow in its midst rather than what halachah permits. The design of synagogues, including where the women sit, where the bimah is, and where the mechitza is placed, are less halachic issues and more communal decisions.
While there is still much more progress ahead, Orthodoxy meets my standards for a livable dat (religion). The abundance of learning to be done, the thousands of years of history and pursuit of justice in the world, the importance of nurturing community, family and self—all these appeal to me. Some people want a religion that is a perfect match for them, well-ordered along their social, political, and personal beliefs. I am satisfied with a religion that has the ring of truth at its core, but that needs a little tidying. For me, Orthodox Judaism has a dazzling core of truth, but also inherent tensions and problems which are recognized within my community. Where activism is called for, someone somewhere is pursuing that activism. Where no solution has been developed yet, someone is attempting to find a solution. And where we haven’t reached either of those stages, the conversation is ongoing.
Great post Shimshonit. On that note, I recommend readers to two websites that an Orthodox Jewish (female) friend sent me to. The Drisha Institute and JOFA, that I thought were worth a mention. The former is in New York and is dedicated to empowering Jewish women to become scholars and educators, running full-time, part-time and summer programs, among other activities. The latter is the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance, and their tag states that the group “works to expand the spiritual, ritual, intellectual and political opportunities for women within the framework of halakha.” JOFA is a great site for resources whether you’re exploring becoming ba’alai teshuvah or those just seeking to become more observant or those just curious about what it means to be an observant Jewish woman in the context of halakha.
Drisha: http://www.drisha.org/
JOFA: http://www.jofa.org/
Cheers,
Chavi
Shimshonit
I really enjoy reading your posts and to be honest find them quite refreshing. I say refreshing because it’s easy as a non-Orthodox Jew, to fall into the trap of assuming that "Orthodoxy" automatically equals religious extremism (for example claiming that recent earthquakes are a punishment from G-D form because of local a increase in homosexual activity,) when that’s clearly not the case.
Also I think it’s impressive to stick it out and "color inside the lines" of Orthodoxy if you will, when it comes to women’s issues. Especially when it would be easy to move, just a little to the left and join a Masorti community. And although I think moving to the Masorti movement is a perfectly legitimate thing to do. I think it’s just as legitimate and possibly more important that people, such as yourself, stay inside of the Orthodox framework and fight (not the best word but it’s the one I’m going to use) for the type of the equality, that in my opinion is certainly attainable with in an Orthodox context.
Again great post and thanks for shining a little light on a side of Orthodoxy many of us don’t get to see.
Be well
Chavi,
Thanks for your comment and especially for the web references. Kolech in Israel is comparable to JOFA (http://www.kolech.org/), though its conferences are biennial rather than annual. All three organizations are astounding, and address the gamut of issues of women and feminism in Orthodoxy with a dazzling array of women and men scholars.
Avi,
Your comments are a valuable reminder of how extreme Orthodoxy can look to non-Orthodox Jews. Seeing accidents and natural disasters as results of sin rather than human error or the laws of physics is common in some Orthodox circles, by no means unanimous. I tend to choose Orthodox communities that engage more with the outside world, have higher education, and see issues from a variety of points of view. When I lived in Israel in 1997, the year of a horrible helicopter collision in southern Lebanon, there was heated debate in Israeli society. Most saw it as a terrible accident, others as a natural consequence of IDF presence in that area, and still others as a result of having non-kosher mezuzot on the hangars. At the end of the day, no matter how angry people got at some of the bizarre explanations for why it happened, no one really knows why such disasters like that happen.
I agree that there is value in remaining in an imperfect situation to try to exert some influence for change. I did a little homework on Orthodoxy before making the choice; once I was convinced that there was possibility for change and advancement of women, and that there were actually women and organizations working to effect this change, I could envision myself a part of that world. If it had not been so, I would probably have chosen another path.
Beautiful thoughts and beautifully expressed. Although I am very late to this party, I just wanted to comment on your unresolved synagogue issue.
Visualize having a really nasty fight with your spouse, and going to services without having resolved it. Would the time spent be in prayer or in thinking nasty things about the person sitting next to you? If you sit apart, this is avoided.
The same would apply to a lovely beautiful sexy morning. Would you be thinking about spirituality, or feeling warm fuzzies about your partner if you sat together?
Hence separate seating.
Obviously, a simplistic explanation, but nonetheless very true.
Yossi,
Better late than never! I really liked your comments, and your thoughts about separate seating are very relevant. Actually, though, I rather like separate seating. I have found that I can focus much more on the service when sitting with women, and have noticed that single people feel much more included in a setting where families are split than they do when families sit together in groups, leaving single people to sit alone. My unresolved issues have more to do with ways in which women could halachically participate in the service (e.g. leading kabbalat Shabbat), but aren’t permitted to because of communal discomfort.
Thanks for your thoughts.