JewsByChoice.Org

I’ve actually been meaning to do a post on this book for quite some time now but I just kept putting it off and then Yankel had it for awhile. But hey now I’ve got the book back and am doing the post. So maybe this little voice in the back of my head can quit nagging me about it all the time.

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It’s not a new book and apparently it’s not even a well-known one but it’s a book I think every Jew by choice should read. “Who Is a Jew” by Meryl Hyman is a brutal but thought provoking journey into the question of “Who Is a Jew”. Hyman who herself identifies as a Jew via patrilineal decent travels through Israel, the United Kingdom and America, asking rabbis and experts from all streams of Judaism (and I might add from all sides of the argument) to explain ” Who is a Jew” and why/how they’ve come to their definitions.

The book doesn’t try to answer the question, which at this point probably would be an impossible task anyways. Instead, it presents a series of dialogues which try to look at the issue from all sides of the debate. One thing I’m pretty sure of is that no matter which side of this debate you fall on, this book will aggravate you, if not flat out offend you at least once while reading it.

The author could have taken the easy way out with this book and chosen to only interview more liberal/progressive rabbis who accept patrillineal descent and have rather inclusive definitions of “who is a Jew, but she didn’t. Instead, she opted to include opinions from across the spectrum including those of some of the most Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis around. To be honest, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to discuss this topic with people, who not only didn’t view me as a legitimate Jew but actually consider me to be part of a vile and deadly cancer eating away at the Jewish Peoplehood, but she somehow managed to pull it off.

When I initially came across this book and decided to buy it, it was because I wanted to build up my defenses against those people who try to challenge my status as a “real Jew”. However, to my surprise as I began reading the book, I found myself less interested in what Reform and Conservative rabbis had to say and increasingly curious about the other side of the argument. Essentially I began to realize that this book had provided me with a first-time opportunity to learn about what the other side had to say. I mean without all of the normal conservative/reform spin and filtering on the subject and it was indeed quite illuminating.

Has reading this book shattered my self perception and convinced me that I’m NOT a Jew? Absolutely not! Has it changed how I approach the issue and the way I see it? Yes!

I’m certainly not suggesting that I agreed with everything the Orthodox world had to say, because much of it justifies IMO the fears and arguments put forward by the non-Orthodox Jewish world. But a lot of it also made sense and it got me to realize that by choosing to convert the way I did, I have in some (important) ways only added to the problem and division. More importantly, this book has helped me to realize that my commitment to Klal Yisrael must not only extend to include those who see me as a legitimate Jew, it also has to stretch way beyond my comfort zone and include those Jews within the Orthodox world who do not accept me as legitimate. If only because, how can I expect someone to understand me if I’m equally unwilling to understand them? How can I ever hope that an Orthodox Jew will try to see things through my eyes if I refuse to see things through his?

Anyhow, I’ve gotten a little off-topic, so let me try to pull this thing back on track.

I believe that the vast majority of the arguments presented in this book are as relevant today as they were eight years ago and that makes it a worthwhile read, right there. But as Jews by choice I think we have a responsibility to take a serious look at the questions and opinions presented in this book. If only to help us better understand how and why we are perceived the way we are by other Jews. If one wants to read this book and use it as fuel to justify their anger against the Orthodox world and its “oppression” this book certainly can help do that. However, if one wants to read it with an open mind, it can serve to enrich you as a Jew, broadening your understanding and possibly even your tolerance towards the Orthodox world.

I don’t know that there is any clear solution on the horizon regarding the “who is a Jew” question. Sometimes I am optimistic about things and other times I can become quite pessimistic and in fact even feel guilty, with regard to my own role in all of this. But one thing for sure is that, reading this book has helped me feel like I now have a better understanding of what some of the legitimate problems and concerns (from both sides of the issue) are. More importantly, in an odd way, it’s even helped me to feel much more connected to the whole of the Tribe , including the messy and ugly side of things. And that’s something I like!

Bottom line is that I highly recommend this book even though it can at times be a painful read, and is sure to ruffle the average JBC’s feathers.

Anyhow, until next time be well.