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I had hoped to do more reflective posting on the high holidays but I got wrapped up in other things I suppose, and so it wound up getting put off until now.

This year the holidays were very special for a few reasons. To start off with they were my first as 1/2 of a Jewish couple which added a real sense of depth to the experience. It was also my first set of major Jewish holidays in Los Angeles, a place where I’m surrounded by a vibrant Jewish community and social network and that also added a sense of connection to both community and Jewish tradition. Something I truly loved!!

Even though this was my second round of high holidays (post conversion that is) this year was the first time I felt connected to the process at all. I suppose that last year I was on my own and feeling rather isolated and emotionally/spiritually out of touch with it all. Suffice it to say last year was a bust.

Anyhow, this year was different because I actually made it through the fast and spent a considerable amount of time at shul where I loved pretty much every minute of what was going on, even though at some points I felt a little like a fish out of water. What I found most beautiful about the holidays was having the opportunity to participate in the Tashlich ceremony. Actually I got to participate in two separate events the first which was held by Valley Beth Shalom was a group event held at this cool man-made lake (I don’t remember what it was called but maybe Tamara knows) and then the second was on my own a couple of days later at another man-made lake (can’t remember what it’s called but again maybe Tamara knows).

Going into the holidays I was really excited about the VBS event which I wound up attending with Tamara and Yankel (as well as at least another 60 members of the VBS congregation) but I’ve got to admit it was in my opinion very much a flop at least spiritually. Don’t get me wrong it was nice to see all these people coming together to engage in Jewish ritual. I just found it somewhat disorganized and rushed which at least in my case didn’t lead to a spiritually conducive environment. It was just too crowded and no one seemed to know what was going on and there really wasn’t enough time to seriously reflect on anything. However it was nice to see community coming together and from this point of view I feel the event was truly a success. I guess that I just had something else in mind going into things.

I must admit that the second night was much more spiritually satisfying. Tamara and I found a nice little lake with lots of nice fishies in it. It wasn’t too crowded and it was somewhere I could find a quiet space to reflect and take stock of myself spiritually. This is been a year of great transition for me and it was nice to be able to pause and go over where I’ve grown as well as where I’ve fallen short. I found doing the Tashlich ceremony a second time to be very spiritually rewarding. I wasn’t rushed and that allowed me to feel more connected to the process, which was nice. In all honesty I can’t say that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it since the event but all in all I feel like it was a meaningful spiritual (baby) step forward on my journey in to Judaism and is a ritual I look forward to repeating next year. In fact next year, I’d like to do it the same way as I did it this year. Once as part of a community in the spirit of Klal Yisrael and a second time on my own, where I’m able to take the time needed to make it a more spiritually fulfilling experience.

Until next time be well